irony

i get sunburned in Oregon way more than i ever did in California. Because Cali was so sunny it was freakin' hot and i hardly went outside.

the brave new world

Things are beginning to settle down here. It's been 2 weeks since our stuff got here and there are boxes in almost every room of the house that still need to be unpacked. And a garage packed nearly solid. Hubby and I have entirely too much crap.

On the upside I am almost done unpacking our kitchen. Next to the garage that's probably the largest amount of work so I feel like I'm on the verge of having really accomplished something. My only problem is that as we come to the last few boxes of dishes, etc., it's getting really hard to find a place for it all. Have I mentioned we have too much crap? It doesn't help that when I moved in with Hubby we had a stalemate over dishes. I liked mine and didn't want to get rid off them. He felt the same about his. So we still have both. Plus somebody (I don't want to name names) insists on buying every cool looking beer mug he sees. And 8 of them so there's enough for everyone. (Kim, my favorite glasses are still the ones you got me in college).

I'm trying to psych myself up for a quick trip back to California next week for my aunts wedding. Psyching up is required because I will be flying by myself with Little Guy since Hubby can't get away from the new job so early on. Our flight experience with him has ranged from "Nightmare From Hell" to "Tolerable in comparison to the Nightmare From Hell". Not looking forward to it.

But we're are headed down there for a very special event. This year, on the 10th anniversary of my aunts commitment ceremony, they will be legally married. I'm misting up just typing about it. I'm so freaking happy for them. My Aunt B is seriously one of my favorite people on the face of the earth. I have so much respect for her as a human being. And she has always, always been there for me.

So I will submit myself to the mercy of the gods of toddler travel. Because it's for a woman who once told me she would crawl through broken glass to get to me if I ever needed her. And I've always known she meant it.

greetings from a new state

So we made it! Ok, so technically we made it exactly a week ago...but it's been one crazy week!

Let's go back to about 2 weeks ago. The movers showed up on Monday morning to pack up the house. In 8 hours our home went from completely normal to completely deconstructed into boxes. I was doing ok. The next day was loading day, and harder. My husband is for various reason completely disconnected from that house. But not me. I mean, we brought our baby home to that house. So many happy memories. And now so sad and empty.

But onward. After loading day we headed south to visit my mom, grandma and best friend for a few days. Tearful, gut-wrenching goodbyes.

Onward. Back to Merced to visit Hubby's family for a few days. And then *blink* it was time for my sister to take us to the airport. Tearful, gut-wrenching goodbyes.

Onward. On to the plane where thank God Almighty our Little Guy did about 150,000 times better than on our last plane trip.

And then we were here. Well, not here in our house. In first one hotel...and then another. Little Guy was thrown through a loop with all these different places and not sleeping well (this means neither was I). Finally last Tuesday our stuff arrived at our house and in the middle of all the moving craziness Hubby started his new job. Little Guy was happy to be reunited with his toys.

Now we are in the house we are renting and it's awesome. Not the endless boxes full of crap that are everywhere, but the house itself. The being together every single day. The unmistakable upgrade of town and community.

I miss our families. A lot. I'm sick of searching for stuff in boxes and instead finding useless crap that I don't want to deal with. I am especially sick of the demon known as Shelf Paper.

But above all, I am grateful to the bottom of my heart for the many, many gifts of this new life.

totally psyched

yes, just yesterday i was crying about the move. but that was then and this is now. the tide has turned and now I am SOOOOO excited about it!

this morning hubby and i figured out he has only 2 more commutes away from us before the move. 2 more horrible sad goodbyes. thats it!

whenever i get all pitiful about leaving i just have to remind myself how much this situation has sucked, how horrible it really has been...especially for hubby. but soon soon soon that will be a thing of the past!

awesome, awesome and awesome!

the moving blues

Our California days are dwindling. There is so little time left here and so much left that we want and have to do.

The surveyor just left our house, and left me knowing that the days of this house being home are numbered. This house where Hubby made me dinner on one of our first dates. Where we brought our son home from the hospital to. Where we had bbqs and parties, and so many many happy memories.

And while I'm having this blue moment, let me mention that when I took my niece and nephew to the train station yesterday I was in such a hurry to get them boarded that I sent them off without even hugging them goodbye. L-A-M-E.

exciting possibilities

We're set for house hunting next week! I feel so much better now that the arrangements have been settled through corporate travel. We got the flight and accommodations I had hoped for and I feel significantly less tense about traveling with Little Guy. Hubby and I are both excited about the trip and finding a new home. And about our new life together in what seems to be a very nice area.

On a separate note, we also got the confirmation that our corporate moving service includes packing up of the house -- awesome, awesome and also awesome!

goodbye^24

Friday was my last day at work and it was very emotional. I'm not sure at exactly what point in life I became one of those women who cry uncontrollably when they're very sad or angry (I think circa 2003) but it is extremely annoying.

I stayed busy late into the night Thursday with preparations for the last day of class, and I was doing very well. But I wanted one of my last day activities to be an art table where my students could make cards for their homeroom teachers, so I started searching for poems about teachers that I could have ready for their use.

I found this:

You're a very special person.
and you should know
How I loved to be your teacher,
how fast the time did go.

We did a lot of special things-
We learned, we laughed, we cared
I always will remember you
And all these times we shared.

I wish that you could visit me,
as through the grades you go.
Try hard to learn all you can,
there's just so much to know.

The one thing I hope you remember
to last your whole life through,
Is that you are special and you are cared for
Each and every one of you!

Sappy Poem + Me = Weepy Tearful Mess

So I cried most the rest of the night. I got up early and ran around, dropped Little Guy off at Grandma's and as soon as I walked into the teacher's lounge I started crying again. I got to my classroom and as I set it up for the last day -- more crying. The first students started trickling in and I finally calmed down, pulled it together and settled into business. Then at the end of class out came the evil crying poem...needless to say there was crying.

I never in a million years would have thought it would be this difficult to say goodbye to my students. But it is. I don't think I ever fathomed when I was in school just how much the teachers cared. How teachers come to think of students as *their* kids.

So tearful goodbyes...class is dismissed. Then I spent the next 4 hours putting my classroom away for the summer and filling out intervention reports. By then I was dusty and dirty and glad to say goodbye to the school, if not the students.

I hope my 24 kids have bright futures.
I hope they rise above their circumstances.
I hope they learn that it is not their fault when bad things happen to them.
I hope they make good choices.
I hope they have a great teacher next year, who cares about them even half as much as I do.

Stress Ball

It's all coming to a head here...

I have 2, just 2, days left of teaching. I get all weepy when I think about saying farewell to my 24 students. But I'm keeping myself busy by planning special stuff for these last few hours.

Our house hunting trip to Oregon is coming (hopefully) right up. I'm growing terrified of this trip. Toddler + Airplane + Hotel Room = Mommy Nightmares

There is the not so little matter of what will happen to our current house.

And let's not forget the grand event -- our big move out of state in slightly over a month.

I think I'm handling it pretty well, actually. But Dear Husband has earned a new name...Stress Ball!

the oregon trail

we're moving to oregon!

of the valley no more?

we are tossing around the idea of a move again... life is in limbo again. i'll be so glad to finally have things settled, whatever they are. but that won't be until next year!

seriously, i know my current hometown is no gem. but it's centrally located to family. i lived far away from my family once and i hated being so disconnected from them. i hated the feeling of wanting so badly to be physically there for them and being unable to be.

but...on the flip side...seriously this town is no gem. of all the cities i've lived in i would probably rank it dead last.

and there is no question that this is NOT the school system i want my babies to go into. so the idea of a new city is definitely exciting in some ways.

so i bounce emotionally between wanting to hug the tree out there in the backyard and refuse to leave and wanting to go pack up the house right now.

and in the meantime...i just don't know. so i can't comfortably settle into either idea.

argh!!!!

i guess what will be will be. the future's not mine to see. que sera, sera.