the other half of my heart

I've dedicated the lion's share of my writing here to discussing my Little Guy, and there is good reason for that.  The challenges presented by having a special needs child sometimes compel me to drink write.  I'd like to think I don't just blog to whine, but the truth is that when the good times are rolling I'm far less likely to take the time to write.

Today it is neither my special needs son nor whining that is burning on my mind -- it is my youngest son, heretofore referred to as "Baby Boy".  He is 3 now and insistent that he is neither a baby nor a little boy, but in fact a big boy.  I'm going to let him win this one - "Big Boy" he is now.

Earlier this week I picked Big Boy up from preschool.  His teacher dismissed him and he emerged from his classroom like a miniature man in jeans and a little backpack.  It hit me, and hit me hard, how quickly his childhood is passing, like sand slipping through my fingers.  I feel like we somehow haven't been doing enough.  That is one of the beauties of preschool though -- preschool is in many ways a celebration of being little and enjoying all the things that at that age inspire wonder.  I am so thankful that Big Boy gets to be a part of that celebration, and that he has this time away from home when he is Big Boy first and not a little brother.  He gets to be a shining star, all on his own and it suits him well.

a taste of his own medicine

Little Guy made a new playground acquaintance. She's one month older, loves the steering wheel and hates anyone who comes near "her" playground. Basically she's a female version of my son.

As my son approached her and the treasured steering wheel she screamed "no, no, NO, MINE!" and then pushed/slapped him away. Awesome! It's not just my kid! It really is age appropriate behavior.

Aside from making me feel better, I think it was good for Little Guy to experience a taste of his own medicine. Even if he did throw himself down on the bridge and cry pitifully for a moment.

King of the Mountain

So we never used to take Little Guy to the park much --even the nicest parks in our old Central Valley town had their ghetto element. On one of our last trips to the park there some nice teenage thugs threw their pit bull off the top of the playground structure and then laughed as the poor thing crawled away in pain.

Little Guy also never went to day care (just Grandma's house) and has just generally never gotten to be around other kids very much.

So it's not very much of a surprise that now there's a bit of an adjustment. Now we live by nice parks, populated by nice families and lots of young kids. And Little Guy just wants them all to know one thing...stay the hell away from his stuff.

It started off with the steering wheel on the playground. On 3 different occasions he slapped at other kids who came up and tried to use it when he was.

Then the other evening he took his possessiveness to a whole new level. There were 2 other similarly aged kids already there when we arrived, but they all happened to be off the structure at the moment. He climbs up gleefully and runs around in general merriment until he notices one of the other kids starting to climb the steps.

"NO NO NO no NO!" He yells as he runs across the bridge to the top of the steps. She freezes for a moment. I tell him to share and blah blah blah. She starts climbing again. He starts with the "No no no" again and as she gets closer he tries to hit her. Because apparently the whole structure is his now.

Oy. I know he'll learn in time...and we'll keep trying. But it's a little hard to make friends with moms at the park when your kid keeps assaulting theirs.

i can't wrap my mind around it

all of the sudden my little niece looks like a young woman.

she curses, wears more make up than me and since she just grew 4 inches is now taller and thinner than me.

i have also just realized how screwed i was not to get the tall gene that my 4 other siblings got. without changing her eating habits at all my dear little niece has just dropped 3 sizes.

in conclusion, i need to grow 4 inches taller.

also...i am old.

oh love

i am truly madly deeply in love with my husband. but i must confess i have another love...my precious little boy!

i am so in love with my son. and he is very sweetly in love with me. he gives me the best little hugs and kisses! he loves to spend time on my lap and when ever he's really happy about something he wants me to see it. when he lays his head on my shoulder and pats *me* on the back i know he is telling me how much he loves me.

these moments are all the sweeter because i know that soon i'll blink and he'll be telling me to drop him off around the corner from school, not kiss him in public, etc etc etc. and/or he'll want nothing to do with mom as he follows dad around trying to be a little man.

i admit it

i remember when i was young and in college. it seems like yesterday...maybe an hour ago actually. but thankfully i have two college age family members. and if i ever forget that i'm an old married lady i just have to go look at their myspace/facebook pages. once there i can admire the new poster children for youth and beauty...my wee baby sis and cousin. man am i old.

the days of dada

Little Guy is finally saying Dada on a regular basis! He's been able to say it for some time but has seldom uttered it. He was waiting for the right time to whip it out, I guess. Little Guy has been clingy and going through stretches where he wants me, just me...so "Hi, Dad!" is just the sweet sound that Husband needed to hear !

WOW!

My son's new favorite word is "Wow!". He opens the fridge at Grandma's house and says "Wow!". We put his jacket on and he says "Wow!". Splashing in the bathtub gets "WOW WOW WOW!". But the occasional throwing of food on the floor still gets an "Uh-Oh!" ;)

things change

sandy eggo was fun...but revisiting that life was strange. that old way of life fits me about as well as my pre-baby pants do (some parts better than others, and with some discomfort). it's not just that i'm a mom now...it's also that i'm married. i have never been so uncomfortable going out in my life as i was when we hit the gaslamp ! i felt like an old lady with my shirt all buttoned up just praying nobody would hit on me.

that might sound a bit ridiculous but most of my years living and going out in sandy eggo i was single, and my old partner in crime still is. Plus, she attracts a steady stream of male attention...which i wanted nothing to do with!

SOOOOOO.....i would love to go to sandy eggo and go out on the town again...but next time my dear husband must come!