Monday, March 7, 2011

time (and much support) heals...

What a difference a week makes. I can talk about Little Guy and autism with crying. I can, in fact, go an entire day without crying about it. I have talked to a lot of people about it now, and it is still raw and difficult to do, but doing it helps. Two Sundays ago we had a bad day. Little Guy's class had a church performance that ended for us when we left halfway through, both of us bawling. Blogging aside, I tend to be a private person. I don't like talking about emotional stuff, and I really don't like having emotional meltdowns in public. But the blessing of it was that it brought my situation to light, and I was met with love and support from many people. Much of it I politely brushed off, still embarrassed at my tearfulness. Days later, though, the warmth of it stayed with me. The words stayed with me and some of them began to soak in.
I am doing much better, and I know that we will all be ok.

my lap baby

One of the many things that I am thankful for in this beautiful life is the time that my Baby Boy spends on my lap every day. For one, even though Baby Boy is approaching 2 he still takes three bottles a day and each and every one of them is on my lap. Additionally, my sweet Baby Boy is not a morning person. I'm pretty confident that later in life he's going to be a big coffee drinker. In the meantime he wakes up unhappy and only one thing is sure to appease him - that's right, my lap. I sit on the end of the couch and he lays back against the soft cushion of the sofa's arm with his length cuddled against me.

When Little Guy was this age I'm pretty sure lap time was a dwindled thing. He could hold bottles on his own laying on a pillow and I could go do something productive so I often did just that. But not my Baby Boy. He has always been a difficult one to feed. To this day he won't take a bottle from anyone else except Hubby, and then only about 1/2 the time. He will hold his own bottles, but if I set him down he simply will stop drinking his bottle and want up. So me and my lap are a happy necessity.

Now at almost 2, we really need to start phasing out bottles. And we will, although that is a little sad for me. I must be Strong Mommy and put his dental health first! Oh, well...at least I'll still have my wake up cuddles!