Today my sister had to turn in her letter to the judge for his consideration in sentencing the murderer of her dear friend. I just read a draft of it and have been once again moved to tears.

One of the most horrible things about this situation is the bottomlessness to it. It seems like my sister just moves through one part to the next. Sometimes it easier but then the next part is the hardest yet.

The way the justice part of this drags on makes it far from easy. It's been two and half years and there is still ongoing court time for it. Still testimony. Still being forced to think about and relive the very darkest of times. And as long as it's in the courts still she is sealed to silence outside of the courts.

So she can't talk about it outside of court, but she is forced to think and talk about it for court. How is she supposed to heal, to move on? I hope and pray that this is finally the end of the justice part of this.

wtf wtf wtf

Yesterday's Supreme Court ruling has already resulted in the overturning of numerous domestic violence murder convictions, and motions are piling in for more of these verdicts to be overturned.

What this means for us, personally, is that our "Jaime got her justice" moment will likely be ending in an overturned verdict.

We will have a new trial to look forward to. A trial where Jaime's voice (her official complaints to the police and her statements to friends and family) will be silent.

so very very proud

Today my big sister gave a speech to more than 750 people at the annual luncheon for the county's Womens Center.

This years event was dedicated to her close friend and neighbor who was abused and ultimately murdered by her husband in early 2007.

The district attorney introduced Big Sis as a hero who courageously stood up for her friend in life and in death.

Big Sis took the stage and even through her tears managed to give a powerful and moving speech to a crowd (750+ !) that included several congressmen, councilmen and other VIPs. There were not many dry eyes.

This was no small feat for her. She has not tried to milk this tragedy -- she does not, in fact, enjoy talking about it. When the Womens Center asked her to speak in order to help other victims, however, she could not turn them down.

She did an outstanding job and I for one am incredibly proud of her.

it's a surreal murder

Last January one of my sister's closest friends was brutally murdered by her husband.

Thats the simple and clean way to explain it. The fuller version is this:

My big sister (Big Sis) had a dear friend (DF) who lived in the same fancy apartment complex and they had kids the same age who also were close friends. DF and Big Sis spent time together almost every day -- going for walks and often cooking dinner together.

By the end of last year things had taken an ugly turn for DF at home. DF left her husband and stayed for a short while at the Battered Women's Shelter before fleeing the state with her 3 children in January.

But DF came back to town and arranged to meet her husband at a public restaurant to discuss matters. When their meeting ended he followed her from the restaurant to a nearby bank. As she pulled out of her parking spot to leave he broke out her window, reached in, and shot her 14 (thats right 14!) times.

This story makes me want to vomit. But most of the time I still can't believe it really happened. Or the horror that has followed - first custody issues for DF's 3 sons and now the coming trial. My Big Sis having recurring nightmares of DF screaming in her coffin. And more recently, Big Sis being shown bloody crime scene photos of DF as she gets prepped for the witness stand.

I'm sure that this is real beyond bearing for Big Sis. But I still have a hard time believing that this all really happened. That these things happen, or still happen, to people you and I know and not just to others somewhere else.