in which i pat myself on the back

Earlier this month Baby Boy turned 6 months old (already!) and this milestone marked the achievement of a goal that has been very important to me: 6 months of breastfeeding.

For 6 months I struggled struggled struggled. For most of that time I took literally 20 pills a day to combat low milk supply. I nursed on demand all the time to keep supply up. I pumped in between and on top of all those feedings. I still had to supplement every feeding with a small amount of formula, for most of that time just .5 - 1 ounces. That meant that after sitting down and nursing for 45 min I would go prepare a bottle and sit down to feed and burp him again.

People encouraged me gently (Hubby) and frequently (my mother) to give up. But it was important to me not to. There were times I wanted to quit and times when I questioned my own motives. I know without a doubt it would have been easier to just formula feed.

I wanted Baby Boy to have the almost innumerable benefits of breast milk. Foremost, I wanted him to have that extra edge towards good health. And that is the reason why I fought, and I fought hard. I kept going with my heart and mind set on making it to the 6 month mark. And I did!

Baby Boy has been nursing less and less well, often showing a clear preference for the bottle. I've stopped popping pills, I do not nurse at every feeding and I offer Baby Boy more formula. While I hope/plan to continue nursing to at least some extent through 9 months things are winding down and I will no longer break my back trying stop it.

It's not the way I wished it, but considering the circumstances 6 months of breastfeeding is an achievement. I reached the top of my mountain.

the war, part II

Things are going better. I had a scare last week, thanks to the inaccuracy of my home scale. We were 3/4 of the way through my lactation consultant devised plan to cut formula out and although it was very stressful things seemed to be going swimmingly. Then I weighed my Baby Boy and FREAKED OUT. It was a long 2 days until I was able to get him weighed at the doctors office, but the news was good. I found out that the home scale sucks and Baby Boy is doing great.

I continue to take 20, yes 20, pills a day of prescription and herbal medicine just for improved lactation. I try try try to sit down and nurse Baby Boy at closer to the 2 hour mark than to the 3 as well as pumping 1-2 times a day. I admit that at times all of this seems a bit ridiculous, especially considering there's another child who needs time and attention as well.

But it's paying off and things are going better than ever. And now at nearly 3 months we are at the halfway point for combo feeding. However the next 3 months go my LC says that once we get to the 6 month mark solid foods can replace formula supplements.

I will probably continue to perform the "is this worth it?" evaluation as we go. In the meantime, I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other...

the war with my rack...aka breastfeeding

we're combo (breast + formula) feeding because once again i have low milk supply. sometimes i feel like throwing the towel and just formula feeding. usually though i feel like we're just *so* close to telling formula to take a hike.

most of the time i feel strongly committed to sticking with at least some breastfeeding until the 6 month mark. sometimes i wonder if that is really whats best i mentally picture that cliche kitten poster "hang in there!" all too often.